


Secrets, Secrets are no Fun

by Masha4Lyfe



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Growing Up, Love Confessions, M/M, obikin, obikinweek17, these boys are too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 07:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11550600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masha4Lyfe/pseuds/Masha4Lyfe
Summary: Obi-Wan has always been a emotionally stunted, but it only worsens with Anakin Skywalker as his Padwan.





	Secrets, Secrets are no Fun

Anakin had been living at the Jedi Temple barely over a year when he found himself late for his daily meditation session with Obi-Wan. The young Padawan bounded down the vast corridors, doing his best to avoid running into the factions of Masters and Padawans that were scattered throughout the halls. His braid bounced off his right shoulder, unable to decide where it wanted to land next. Anakin’s footsteps echoed about the Temple has his boots pushed off the marble floors. His breath was uneven and erratic, coming in spurts interrupted by gulps of air being devoured into his lungs. The young boy raised his arms above his head, trying his best to keep the sleeves of his cloak from swallowing his arms. Anakin stopped and started more times than he could count after multiple choruses of “Excuse me!”, “Sorry, Masters, I’ll slow down. I promise.”

He finally made it to the durasteel door separating him from his Master. He was more than five minutes late now, which for him wasn't anything, but he still couldn't stand the look of disappointment he knew would get from Obi-Wan. He gently nudged on Obi-Wan's Force signature through their bond, just to get a sense for how the older man was feeling. He felt a subtle hint of annoyance, but that was to be suspected when your apprentice was Anakin Skywalker. The little Jedi snickered at the thought of an irked Obi-Wan. His moment didn't last very long, as his Master had reached across their bond.

  
Anakin, I know you're out there. Now's not the time for games, we are already behind schedule.

  
His smirk fell off his face as quickly as it had gotten there. He ran his hand through his disheveled hair and over his robes a few times before entering their shared living quarters. Anakin shuffled over to where the older man was sitting, and took his place cross-legged across from him. Obi-Wan already had his eyes close, attempting to center himself in the Force. Anakin could never understand how he'd do it so easily. All Anakin could seem to focus on during meditation was anything and everything going on around him that didn't matter. He focused all too much on the dulled buzz of the Courscanti traffic rush outside the window, and how the navy carpet in their apartment was much more uncomfortable to sit on than it was to stare at. A little more odd, he seemed to notice that his Master smelled like... cinnamon? He shook the realization from his mind and tried to focus on the task at hand.

  
He sat with both hands on his knees. The palms facing the ceiling, and his chin raised slightly upward. Anakin tried to level his breathing, taking in air through his nose, but it wasn't helping. Only a few feet over, Obi-Wan sighed. He knew his Padawan was trying, but it was still disheartening to know they'd made little process in the year Anakin had been here. He opened his eyes to watch the younger Jedi. The boys furrowed eyebrows lightly twitched in concentration. His palms slightly bounced on his knees as they rose up and down in a nervous tick. Obi-Wan let himself smile before speaking.

  
"That's quite enough for today, dear one."

  
The boys eyes blinked open, confusion taking hold of his features.

  
"But we haven't even been going at it for very long. I really am trying, honest!"

  
"I can see that, Anakin. You have made progress, believe it or not" he smirked. "You just seem a bit more distracted than usual."

  
Anakin's eyes darted to the floor, and he started to fidget with his hands.

  
"I'm sorry, Master. It's just that Master Kap-She gave all of the younglings a project on Planetary Roles in the Republic, and I've been itching to get to the archives and start." The boy bit his lip after he stopped talking.

  
"Oh, is that right?" He mused. "What planet will you be researching?"

  
Anakin's cheeks flushed. "Naboo."

  
Obi-Wan's eyebrows flung up, slightly dumbfounded.

  
"Naboo? Of all the planets in the galaxies and the Republic, you picked Naboo?"

  
"Yes."

  
Obi-Wan chuckled, and that got Anakin to lift his head from the ground.

  
"I do confess..." Anakin started, distracted by the amused look on his Master's face.

  
"Confess what, my young Padawan?"

  
Anakin's cheeked burned a deep shade of crimson, and he could feel the blush spreading.

  
"I confess that I-I have a crush on Padmé."

  
"Ah."

  
"I know that attachments are against the Code, and I'm really not trying to be a bad Padawan. It's just that I don't know when or if I'll ever get to see her again. So I figured this would give me a reason to look over their records and maybe be able to see her again. Please don't be angry with me, Obi-Wan."

  
Obi-Wan reached out to the boy and placed a hand softly on his knee.

  
"Oh, Anakin. I'm not angry with you. I don't think a crush would qualify as an attachment. They're fleeting and will pass with time." Anakin somewhat deflated at that, clearly unhappy with the thought of his feelings for Padmé going away.

  
"Now, run along and start that project. I'm certain yours will be the best." He smiled.

  
Anakin's face lit up, and he jumped up to his feet. He mumbled a quick Thank you and Goodbye to Obi-Wan before he was out the door. The older Jedi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. What had he been thinking taking on a Padwan. Especially when that Padawan was Anakin Skywalker.

 

* * *

  
Anakin was 18 when Obi-Wan's life was turned upside down. The young apprentice had grown powerful in the Force. He could accomplish things with ease that took fully grown Jedi Knights much longer to learn. No one could deny that Anakin was the Chosen One. The way the Force sang sweetly around him was overwhelming at times. "Feel it, you must. Around young Skywalker, the Force thrives." Yoda had said. Obi-Wan was proud of how far the boy had come. He'd left so much behind to pursue this path, and it made Obi-Wan smile fondly that it was working out for him.

  
There was a slight unease in him, though. He knew that there were skeptics about Anakin, Master Windu being one of them. The boy was still only a teenager, and with all the influx of feelings towards him, it was amazing he'd been coping as well as he had. Obi-Wan knew, though, it was Windu's doubt in particular that really disheartened his Padawan. The constant lack of trust and belief ate away at the boy. He could feel the waves of sadness and hints of anger and resentment through their bond during Council briefings. He'd done his best to console the boy, his friend. His best friend if he was being honest with himself. Anakin did what he always did, though, and brushed it off. "I'm ok, Master. Really, don't worry about me." He'd give that same strained smile, the lie only too easy to spot in his vulnerable blue eyes.

  
Anakin had been able to find a coping method in sparring with the other Padawan's or brushing up on history in the archives, but what he took to more often and far more passionately was tinkering. He'd always been a gifted mechanic, ever since they'd found him on Tatooine. He'd built the pod for the Boonta Eve Classic, not to mention building a functional protocol droid. Anakin looked for the peace and focus it would give him, although Obi-Wan had always figured he did it because it was something he knew he was good at. Something that he wouldn't fail at. It made his heart ache knowing that Anakin held this much resentment toward himself and his abilities.

  
Obi-Wan walked into the apartment after a particularly grueling meeting with the Council, and found that this day was no different. His eyes grew wide and he gasped when he was met with clutter. Everywhere. Droid mechanisms strewn all about the living space. Various types of tools made their home on the tables, chairs, and kitchen counter. Obi-Wan pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. Trying for the life of him to remember to expel his feelings to the Force.

  
"Anakin." He hissed. He knew the teen was still in the apartment, he could feel hims. So it was with an annoyed determination, that Obi-Wan stalked over to Anakin's room, not even knocking before entering.

  
The sight before him stopped him dead in his tracks. The older Jedi stood there in the doorway, mouth parted in an 'O', and Anakin's name lost on his tongue. His mouth went dry and he couldn't help but stare. Anakin stood before him, not wearing his tunic. His back taut and firm with muscle. His shoulder broad. His sun-kissed skin smooth and unblemished, much unlike his own war torn skin. Anakin turned around then, and upon seeing Obi-Wan his cheeks turned dark. Blotches of red invaded his complexion, slowly spreading down his neck and to his chest.

  
"Oh-" he whispered breathlessly, looking to the carpet and biting his lip. "I didn't know you were going to be back so soon, or I would've cleaned up." Anakin gestured to his body, but Obi-Wan was aware of the state his charge was in.

  
Obi-Wan stared. His eyes soaking in the way Anakin's collar bones jutted out of his form. The way he had a small patch of chest hair just between his firm pectorals. His eyes ventured lower, but soon shot back up to meet Anakin's face. He couldn't believe what he was doing. Years of releasing tension of the Force, and forgetting his...desires of the flesh. But now was most certainly not the time for him to start feeling...things. He stuttered something back to his Padawan.

  
"Anakin. I'm so sorry. I just came by to-" Anakin ran a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. Beads of sweat glistening down the hollow of his neck.

  
"You came by to what, Master?" He cleaned off some grease from the droids on a towel as he spoke.

  
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "Uh, yes. I came by to ask you to clean up your droids. They're very much in the way and I've already had a trying enough day as it is." He stumbled, finally finding his composure. Surely the younger boy must've have a good idea of why he was acting like a complete fool.

  
"Oh, yeah. I'm really sorry about that, Master. I've had a pretty kriffing bad day too. Had a meeting with Master Windu. I'll get it all out of the way after I get cleaned up, I promise." He offered a smile.

  
Obi-Wan only offered a nod and a quiet thank you before retreating to the quiet of his room. He shut the door with more force than necessary and slunk down against it. He put his head in his hands and let out a shaky sigh. What had just happened. How could he have let himself have those thoughts. He closed his eyes and pictured Anakin's collar bone, and how he'd wanted to bite the skin, leave his mark. He remembered how he'd wanted to have his hands get lost in the boy's sandy blonde hair. When had Anakin grown up, he wondered. He surely wasn't 9 years old anymore.

 

* * *

  
The years didn't do anything to quell Obi-Wan's newly awakened desires for his Padawan, but some distraction begin to present themselves. Namely the start of The Clone Wars. Anakin and Obi-Wan constantly found themselves on mission to aid the cause of the Republic. Anakin had been knighted shortly after Geonosis, and the two of them headed clone trooper squads into battle. Anakin found himself in a love affair with Padmé, blissfully unaware that Obi-Wan knew about the whole thing. Obi-Wan kept silent, though, as it gave him reprieve from his feelings. However, they were only replaced by feelings of jealousy. The Jedi Code becoming a constant drone in Obi-Wan's mind, he found him reciting it more than he ever had.

  
The Force was kind to the pair, as they found themselves safe back on Coruscant when Anakin was 22, on leave from the War and they had more than a few scars to show for their efforts. They'd been sitting for a while, slightly sipping on some Corellian Cognac when Anakin suggested they switch to something stronger. Obi-Wan didn't object, and they continued to drown their sorrows on a very strong Coruscanti Vodka. As their inhibitions were lowered, their spirits went up and their conversation lightened. Bubbly laughter left both of their mouths as they recalled fond memories from years past. It wasn't until Anakin's crush on Padmé came up that they avoided serious conversation.

  
"I'm sure you've noticed how close we've been recently." Anakin started.

  
"It'd be rather hard not to, Anakin. But I do try to keep my nose out of business that is not my own." He arched an eyebrow and took a swig from his glass.

  
"Well I only bring it up because it's not going on anymore. We both realized how irresponsible it was. It never would've worked out. And besides, my duty is here. With the Jedi. With you."

  
"Oh." That was all Obi-Wan could say. Surprise doesn't even begin to cover how maturely he felt Anakin had handled the entire situation. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol that made him speak next, but he voiced as much.

  
"Anakin, I don't know if it's this blasted vodka edging me to speak, but I feel I must tell you that you are always my duty. I don't know what I'd do without you."

  
Anakin's mouth opened as if to speak, but he said nothing. Obi-Wan felt himself sober up, his mind telling him to stop talking before he said something he shouldn't, but he ignored the voice.

  
"And I must confess... for the last few years, I've had feelings for you. Looking at the man you've become his simply made it worse. I thought these feelings would go away with time and meditation, but they haven't. I have looked to the Force for guidance, but I always find my way back to you. I know it's against the code, but I don't care anymore. I know you don't feel the same way, but I just have to tell you-" he took in the shocked, blank expression of his Padawan, and all he could think to do was lean in.

  
He leaned into Anakin and took his lips to his. He could ear the younger man take in a sharp breath before he felt him relax into the touch. Their lips started to move against each other before Anakin's tongue looked for an entrance, and Obi-Wan gave it to him. Anakin locked his arms around his Master's neck and pulled Obi-Wan down on top of him, moaning into the kiss. All too quickly, Obi-Wan realized what was happening and broke away. He started mumbling to himself.

  
"No. We can't do this. This is wrong. What am I doing. I'm taking advantage of you. Kriff." He frantically ran his hands through his hair, breathing harsh.  
He felt Anakin's hands grasp both sides of his face, pulling him face to face.

  
"Nuh-uh, Obi-Wan. You don't get to bug out on me. You told me how you felt. You kissed me and I kissed you back. You don't get to tell me this is wrong." He tucked a loose lock of hair behind the older man's ear.

  
"You wanna know a secret?" He whispered.

  
Obi-Wan's blue grey eyes glanced up, and met Anakin's deep blue eyes.

  
"I've had feelings for you too. I went after Padmé because I was scared of how I felt about you. I didn't think you'd ever feel the same about me. But now that I know you do? There's no way I'm ever letting you get out of this."

  
And then he smiled one of those world altering smiles. A smile that radiated out of him and through the Force. A smile that reached out to all the shadows and illuminated them, and all Obi-Wan could do was smile back.

  
"Well, I suppose if I'm never getting out of this." He smirked, leaning forward and capturing the lips of the man he intended to be with forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! Please please comment and let me know what you think. I thrive on feedback! Come join me on tumblr! I'm hardleynormal on there :)


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